How is your marriage impacted by how you deal with emotions. 

How you deal with your emotions has such a huge impact, and for something that affects so much of your life, how you deal with your family, how you deal with your friends, work stuff, community, strangers, you interact with your marriage, and your kids. It's really surprising why we're not taught this in schools, why is that not a requirement? For students? Why are we not taught emotional awareness, emotional intelligence, and effective communication? Can you imagine if, if we grew up learning that not just from experience, but actually learning it? Can you imagine how much drama we could have avoided or prevented in our lives? From recess, and quarrels, to relationship challenges, that would fix a lot of drama in our lives. On the marriage front, imagine all the times you would have spent connecting instead of feeling disconnected and distraught. If I could go back in time, I wish that I would have...

We're gonna be talking about how self-care really impacts your marriage. 

Every single relationship if I'm being honest. If you don't know, I help unhappy moms who feel lost in their marriage to be happy again, and a lot of times, we get to that place of feeling lost, because we're no longer getting our needs met anymore. If you have that go-to coping mechanism of stepping into a victim mentality, you might ask yourself, why aren't they giving me what I need anymore? Why did they stop? What happened here? And what we really should be asking? On top of that question is, what have I done? To get us here? Not from a place of blame, but from a place of awareness? What part did I play? To get us to where we are right now? Because it takes both of you to get there. 

We tend to feel lost in our marriage. 

Because our partner stopped doing something, and why did they stop doing that thing, because we stopped being the person that they married. Right? We are all...

When you think of ways to work on your marriage, society has pretty much defined the go-to route as couples counseling.

Counseling is great, however, what if your husband doesn't want to go or what if it doesn't work? Does this mean that your relationship is doomed?

If neither of those work, don’t give up, there are other options out there for you!

To name some... there’s marriage coaching, marriage retreats, marriage workshops, and marriage classes!

If you're in a situation where you feel lost in your marriage, you're unhappy and you don't know what to do next and counseling is not an option, your marriage can still survive and thrive! Your fate is not doomed for divorce or indefinite misery because the most widely known option (counseling) isn’t available.

If you are thinking, “well, my partner didn’t want to go to couples counseling so how would any other method work?” Let’s dig deeper into that question.

We Only Have...

How To Know If Your Marriage Needs Work

 Marriage is not always sunshine and rainbows. If you walked into marriage feeling that was the bar that you had to meet, let’s abolish that thought. Marriage, just like everything in life, goes through seasons. It’s the same in motherhood, where there are times it feels like everything is smooth sailing and then something happens and you're thinking, “I don't know what the hell I'm doing.”

Marriage goes through seasons as well. There is so much pressure put on a marriage. We expect our partners to be a certain way and to meet our expectations and make us happy. We're not always doing this intentionally though. Sometimes it's very much unintentional. Even being a marriage coach, I go through this as well. I was subconsciously expecting my spouse to do things I never shared I wanted or I had this unrealistic expectation that I was holding over him.

Where Are You in Your Marriage?

We have so much...

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Why is marriage so hard when you have kids? 

Relationships are hard in general. We're all walking around with all these different ideas of what it takes to be in a relationship, what we think is normal, and what we think is healthy. Sometimes we think both are the same. We grew up with our parent's marriage being the prime example of what we think it means to be in a relationship. How do they love each other? How do they show that? How affectionate were they with each other? How do they communicate with each other? How do they handle conflict? How do they prioritize each other? How did they communicate with you? How did they handle conflict with you? How did they react to you when you were expressing your emotions? Like when you were crying a lot, when you were angry, or when you were frustrated? What about when you were happy? Were you even allowed to express your emotions outside of happiness? Personally, my parents were not comfortable with emotions....

Welcome to my podcast! I can't believe it! But I've actually been talking about starting this podcast for over a year now. And it just feels so surreal and exciting for it to finally be out in the world. And I'm so grateful you're here spending time with me.

My name is Michelle Purta. And I'm a Life and Marriage Coach for moms. And I want to use this episode to share more about me and why I do what I do and why I created this podcast.

So I am a woman, a wife, a stepmom, and a mom. We live out in California, in the Bay Area right outside of San Francisco. We have a blended family, so my oldest is my husband's son from a different relationship and we have two kids of our own. So right now as we speak, my oldest is twelve. My middle child will be six later this year. My youngest will be two next month and we also have two bunnies.

Now, why am I a Life and Marriage Coach for moms? Of all the things that I can do, why am I this?

Well, the short answer is, I want you...