The Secret to a Stronger Marriage: Choose Connection Over Being Right

It's easy to fall into the trap of wanting to be right in our relationships, especially in marriage. After all, proving our point can feel so satisfying in the moment. But, as I've come to learn as a marriage coach, the real prize isn't in winning an argument – it's in nurturing a loving, connected relationship. In this quick read, let's explore how shifting from seeking victory to prioritizing partnership can transform your marriage.

You Can Be Right or You Can Have the Right Relationship

One of the biggest realizations I've had is this: in any conflict, you can either be right or have the right relationship. This doesn't mean you should become a doormat or always be wrong. It's about recognizing that in marriage, feeling connected and understood outweighs the temporary thrill of being right. It's the emotional intimacy that builds a strong couple, not the moments when one stands...

Balancing Ambition and Family: How to Avoid Burnout as a High Achiever

In today’s fast-paced world, balancing career aspirations with family commitments is a challenge for many. In a conversation with Katy Murray, we delved into the struggles and strategies of navigating ambition alongside a fulfilling family life. Here’s a peek into some key insights that can help you thrive personally and professionally without sacrificing one for the other.

The Art of Slowing Down

For many high achievers, the notion of slowing down seems counterintuitive. However, embracing a more mindful pace is essential for sustaining energy and avoiding burnout. Rather than racing to tick off every item on a never-ending to-do list, take a moment to breathe, reflect, and prioritize. This intentional pause helps you align your actions with your core values and goals, fostering a fuller, richer life.

Scheduling Downtime

A chief takeaway from our discussion is the importance of...

Navigating Marriage: Turning Conflict into Connection

This episode is about embracing imperfection, the strength of vulnerability, and how practicing what I preach to my clients and my community can transform relationships. Let's dive into an authentic, behind-the-scenes look at how one can apply principles of understanding and calm even in frustrating moments.

Facing Frustration: Recognizing Patterns

Marriage isn’t perfect, and for many of us, it's a continual learning path. At times, we face disappointment and unmet expectations, especially when juggling responsibilities. With one partner deeply immersed in work and the other managing a business, stress levels can rise when communication falters.

A Familiar Scenario: Juggling Responsibilities

Imagine the scene: hectic weekdays where one drops off and picks up kids, balancing between dance classes and school pickups. Tuesdays were meant for a shift in routine—where my husband covers the pickup....

Navigating Anger in Marriage: Turning Arguments into Conversations

In this episode, we're diving into how recognizing and understanding emotional patterns can transform arguments into more productive conversations, ultimately fostering growth in our marriage.

Understanding Emotional Patterns

Let’s be honest, no one wakes up hoping to have an argument with their spouse. In fact, most of us hope for smooth sailing each day, desiring progress rather than setbacks in our relationships. Recognizing our emotional patterns is a pivotal step toward achieving that. Once we understand the habitual ways we react during conflicts, we can begin to navigate them more effectively. These patterns often form as protective responses, but they don’t always serve our best interests.

Teaching Our Children Emotional Management

Our emotions heavily influence our daily interactions, so it's crucial to handle them wisely. This is especially important as parents, as our children...

In this episode, I am joined by Mitch Blackford, a coach specializing in helping moms navigate the complex transition of motherhood and marriage, to talk about how you can go from roommate to romance.

Understanding the Challenges of Motherhood

Motherhood undeniably transforms a woman's life, presenting unique challenges that often lead to feelings of disconnection and overwhelm. Mitch shared her personal journey, highlighting how transitioning from woman to mom can strain a marriage. This transition often leaves women feeling "touched out" and emotionally drained, leading many to place their intimate relationships on the back burner.

The Importance of Intimacy

One of the primary discussions revolved around the critical topic of intimacy — and how motherhood can often make it seem like a distant concept. Mitch emphasized the commonality of feeling emotionally and physically exhausted, which can cause women to shy away from intimate connections, even though it's a...

Marriage and motherhood can be challenging, but achieving growth and improvement doesn't have to be complicated. Sometimes, simple, foundational steps can lead to remarkable changes. Here, we're going to discuss a transformative two-step process that can rejuvenate your marriage, streamline your life, and help you become the parent you aspire to be.

Step 1: Establish a Vision

One of the fundamental questions I ask anyone considering working with me is: "What is it that you are wanting?" Many people struggle to articulate their desires, often focusing on what they don't want rather than what they do want. But without a clear vision, it's nearly impossible to see progress.

Your vision is not about psychic abilities but a crystal-clear picture of the future you desire. It includes every facet of life—your marriage, your parenthood journey, your personal development, your relationships, and your career goals. Having this vision simplifies decision-making. Anytime you're...

Understanding Boundaries Versus Ultimatums: Strengthening Relationships Through Respect and Communication

Welcome back to another episode, in this episode I got to dive deep into the complexities of boundaries versus ultimatums in relationships with fellow marriage coach, Nevart Willborn. Together, we explored how these concepts can either strengthen or damage a marriage depending on the implementation.

What Are Boundaries and Ultimatums?

We first kicked off the discussion with the definitions and nuances of boundaries and ultimatums. A boundary is essentially a way to teach others how to treat us by expressing our needs and limits. A boundary is about helping others understand what we need and implementing a healthy response when those needs are not met.

On the other hand, an ultimatum often comes across as a final demand or a non-negotiable condition. Nevart highlights the key difference: "An ultimatum is rooted in control. It's a statement where...

Is Love Enough to Sustain a Marriage After Kids?

Welcome back to another episode of the Marriage and Motherhood Podcast! In this episode, we explore whether love is enough to keep a marriage strong after kids.

The Shift: From Partners to Parents

When love leads to marriage, it often stems from the deep affection couples have for each other. But once you become parents, life changes drastically. You now face new responsibilities, time constraints, and a significant shift in your relationship dynamics. The priorities shift from each other to the children, leading many to wonder, "Where does our relationship go from here?"

Unspoken Assumptions and Overlooked Needs

It's easy to fall into the trap of assuming love will conquer all challenges. However, once kids enter the picture, love often turns implied rather than demonstrated. The acts of love shift to task-based activities: feeding the kids, handling household chores, and managing schedules. While love fuels these...

In this episode, I have an honest conversation with fellow marriage coach, Nevart Willborn, about boundaries.

Understanding Boundaries in Relationships

Boundaries are fundamental to maintaining a healthy relationship. They’re not about controlling the other person but about setting limits for yourself to protect your emotional and mental well-being.

For me, a boundary is something that helps you actually strengthen and be in a relationship with someone. Boundaries are not about telling someone else what they should do but about informing them what you will do if a certain line is crossed.

Common Misconceptions About Boundaries

A common misconception is that boundaries are a form of control over others. This misunderstanding can lead to a dynamic where one person tries to change the other’s behavior instead of focusing on their own actions. When you set a boundary, it's about what you're going to do, not about making someone else do something.

Examples of...

Welcome back to another episode of The Marriage and Motherhood Podcast. This topic was inspired by a post I stumbled on in a Facebook group. A woman was asking if sleeping in separate rooms would hurt the marriage. 

Rest or Romance?

A woman in the group shared her problem: she and her husband have trouble sleeping together due to conflicting sleep habits. From taking up too much space to noisy disturbances. Although they have a fantastic relationship outside the bedroom, the poor sleep quality was leading to resentment.

Her main concern? Social norms. The idea of sleeping in separate rooms seemed drastic, and she wondered if it would drive them toward divorce.

Challenging Social Norms

If you’ve been following along with my content, you know that I’m an advocate for challenging social norms. Every marriage is unique, and what works for one couple might not work for another. The concept of following societal expectations blindly can often hinder...