Parenthood can seriously rock a marriage. From having time to plan special things for each other, you become consumed with taking care of the kids and have nothing left for each other by the end of the day. Below I share 6 ways to bring connection back into your marriage so that you can show your kids what marriage should really be like so that they know what to look for and expect when it’s time for them to walk down the aisle. Make sure you read through the whole thing to receive 3 BONUS ways to reconnect!
Here are 6 ways to reconnect with your husband!
We're all better versions of ourselves when we have our needs met. What does self care look like to you? It could be following a morning routine, taking a walk, exercising. Do what you gotta do to feel your best! We can't give much away if we're running on empty.
At the minimum, you should treat him like a friend. When you're fighting, try this practice: Seek to understand before being understood. This looks like listening to what he has to say without jumping down this throat to defend yourself. Really listen for where he's hurting and acknowledge how he feels.
We all get frustrated sometimes, but we don't always know the real reason why we're mad. The reason isn't because he forgot to put the toilet seat down. That's just the event that triggered your frustration. Pause and know what's upsetting you to avoid having the same fights over and over again.
Now that you know why you got mad, instead of doing what you've always done (yell, criticize, withdraw, walk out), respond with the truth. Respond with how you're feeling, not what you want him to do differently, but the impact of it all.
We all perceive love differently. Get to know what each of your's is and start doing things that work! Check out my blog post on the 5 Love Languages to see where you can find out what your dominant love language is and ideas on how to speak his!
I know scheduling your date nights doesn't sound romantic, but if connecting with your spouse is a priority, then doing so would be a guaranteed way to make time for it. Try once a month for starters! Look at it this way, a babysitter is cheaper than divorce! If money is tight these days or you’re unable to find childcare, check out this post for 25 date night in ideas!
It IS possible to reconnect in your marriage, it just requires you to pivot and change how you do some things.
Here are 6 ways to get started on reclaiming the marriage you want your kids to see:
1 - Practice self care
2 - Be a friend
3 - Know why you’re mad
4 - Respond vs. react
5 - Speak his love language
6 - Schedule date nights
As always, have fun with these! It might seem awkward at first, but that’s to be expected. We always feel awkward when we try something new or when we’re out of practice on something. :) You got this mama!