I recently asked a group of women how often they go on dates with their husbands and not surprisingly, some had a witty response like, “What’s that?!”. Some even said “Never”. Reading those comments made me truly sad for those moms, because I just know that if nothing changes, more time will pass and it will feel awkward going on dates with their husband and then it really won’t happen. Months can turn into years and years can turn into a lifetime or divorce.
Mom life can be very consuming, I get it. You’re tired from working all day and then taking care of the kids afterwards. By the time their bedtime rolls around, you are EXHAUSTED. But how exhausted will you be if you and your husband stop being a couple and become more like co-parenting roommates?
How exhausting will it be if you two can’t even find something to talk about other than the kids? Going on regular dates means nurturing the relationship. So even though you’re married, it’s important to still DATE your spouse. Treat each other like you’re still boyfriend and girlfriend! Date each other like you’re still trying to win each other’s hearts.
So let’s say you’re bought into the idea of date nights but it’s just not possible right now. Look mama, I’ve heard it all. In fact, the two main reasons I hear are:
Can you relate? I’m sure at one point or another, we all had at least one of those reasons stop us from going on that date night. Well, on this blog post, I’m going to teach you how to get around those obstacles!
Going on regular dates needs to be a priority in every marriage! No matter how young the children are! Ok, maybe if your kid is newborn status…but even then it’s still possible! Have you really thought about who can help you? If you have family nearby or friends who’d be willing to trade off with you, these would be great ways to make a date night out happen! Afraid to ask for help? Well, if you don’t ask, the answer will always be no!
But… if you absolutely cannot find childcare, perhaps you go on a day date. Do you work near each other? Can you two meet for a lunch date?
If that’s still not a viable option, then I’d like to introduce you to the idea of DATE NIGHTS IN!
What is a date night in?!
A date night in is exactly what it sounds like. If you can’t make it outside the house because of time or childcare, then schedule a date night at home!
Right now, you’re probably thinking “but how’s that different than what we normally do??”
Well, that depends on you! You can make it as simple or special as you’d like!
The point of a date is to reconnect and keep the love and fire alive in your marriage. You don’t need to leave the house to do that!
You do, however, need to do it ALONE. The kids cannot be around. When the kids are around, you’re most likely playing referee of some sort. The point of this is to connect with ONLY your husband so you need undivided attention for each other! The best time to do this is when the kids are asleep!
Here are some ideas on how to do date nights in:
Have a cheese, wine or beer tasting at home! Explore which ones you like best.
Cook a late dinner together! Pour a glass of wine, play some music, maybe dance a little in the kitchen while things are simmering. ;)
Watch your favorite show or movie together! Make some popcorn, pour some wine, and snuggle up together!
Have a picnic in your backyard! Have some wine and a charcuterie board!
Play “never have I ever”!
Share your favorite childhood memories with each other and let the conversation flow!
Play board games together!
Play video games together! Who says being a parent means you have to act old?
Do some star gazing! Park a chair out in your backyard or driveway and admire the huge glittery sky.
Do a workout together! YouTube has some great free workout videos!
Try new food together! Is there a local restaurant that you’ve been meaning to try? Grab takeout and bring it home or use a meal delivery service like DoorDash or UberEats!
Have a spa night! Do face masks (if your husband is willing) or take a bath together!
Offer each other massages! Warning, this may lead to other connection building activities ;)
Have a fondue night! This can include cheese fondue or just be a dessert fondue with your favorite chocolates and assorted dipping foods!
Play card games! War, poker, or maybe slap jack?
Watch your wedding video or go through your wedding photos to relive that day!
Have a paint night! Buy some paint and a couple of canvases. Pour some wine and let the brushes flow!
Ask each other questions from my 30 day challenge!
Do a puzzle together!
Write each other love letters!
Put your baking skills to the test! Try baking your favorite dessert together!
Play a game of “Chopped”! You know the one from the Food Network. Use random ingredients to try and create the most delicious dish! You can play as a team or against each other!
Watch some comedy skits on Netflix or Youtube and laugh your butts off together!
Play strip poker! This may need to be done in your bedroom. ;)
Listen to your favorite tunes as a kid and enjoy going down memory lane.
I hope this list gets you one step closer to regularly connecting even when you can’t leave the house. It’s important to keep dating each other even after get married, even after you have kids. Before the kids, it was you two. Remember what it was like before mom life took over and how connected you two were!
Don’t let the months of no dates turn into years. Keep your marriage strong, so your kids can FEEL the love between you two. If your marriage is healthy, your kids will see what it takes to keep up a marriage and go on to have healthy marriages of their own. Plus, you can be a great mom without sacrificing your marriage or yourself! You can have a great marriage and still be a great mom!
Need inspiration on how else to appreciate your husband? Check out my blog about The 5 Love Languages! Learn how your husband prefers to receive love and what actions you can take that will be the most impactful!