Are you craving more connection with your husband? If it’s difficult for you to get your husband to open up more or maybe you two don’t have the time to, I have two simple questions that even the most reserved husbands will answer!
But before I get to it… I want to share something important.
Now, I know that you already know how different women and men are different. But did you know that this actually plays into why he’s not opening up to you?
When it comes to intimacy, women and men are motivated by different things.
Women are more social and therefore crave emotional connection with their husband.
Women feel most connected to their partners when:
she feels seen
she’s taken care of - we love it when someone helps relieve the mental load we take on with all the multi-tasking we do from the second we wake up to the second our head hits the pillow
she gets quality time in the form of dates (in or out) and vacation
she feels desired and loved
Men on the other hand feel most connected to us when:
he feels heard
he’s respected (not criticized or spoken badly about - in front of him or behind his back)
he feels appreciated for his efforts
he doesn’t get nagged
WE INITIATE SEX
So the last point was capitalized for a reason. Why? Because… it leads into the two questions you need to ask him! You ready for this?
How often do you need to have sex to feel connected to me?
How often do you want to have sex to feel connected to me?
Now do you understand why ANY man would answer these questions?
So here’s the thing…
Women need emotional intimacy to warm up to the idea of physical intimacy.
Men need physical intimacy to warm up to the idea of emotional intimacy.
How much is your mind blown right now?!
When I first learned this I had to pick up my jaw from the ground because I know I wouldn’t even consider having more sex if I were emotionally deprived of connection. With this new understanding, I now know that in order to receive, I must also give.
So ask your husband these two questions and see if you are on the same page! If you are, AWESOME! If you’re not, no worries! Talk about what is a happy medium for the two of you and try to provide your husband the opportunity to be close to you!
I have personally asked my husband these two questions and I have to say how much of a relief it is to actually know instead of just assuming that he understands I’m tired or that he wants it every day.
Ask him this question to get to know his needs better and he may in turn ask you about what you need to feel close to him!
P.S. If you’d like more conversation starters, check out my post where I list 30 questions you can ask your husband!