Are you actively putting in the effort to keep your marriage alive?
I want you to think about your marriage like a plant… let’s call it a love fern. How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days reference anyone?
What is required to keep the love (fern) alive?
Ignore it? Nope! It would die!
It needs the warmth and nutrients from the sun and some good ol hydrating H2O, right?
Imagine that your marriage is just like the love fern. It also requires things to keep it alive and well!
We need to treat it like it’s a priority otherwise it will die. Our marriage is not something that grows on its own. The time and effort need to be put into it or it will start wilting. In the world where a lot of things can be outsourced or automated, your marriage is not one of those things. It needs your personal touch and attention! Remember, you married each other for a reason. Not because you wanted your relationship to be starved in the name of parenthood.
When was the last time you did something special for your husband?
No ulterior motive, just because.
Now, when was the last time you did something special for your kid(s)?
I’m betting you’ve done something more recently and regularly to make your kid(s) feel special. Am I right?
We treat our kids’ lives so preciously, we don’t want them ever going a day without feeling loved.
But what about your husband? He’s the reason you even have a kid(s)! Your kid(s) is a product of your love. The life you share with him is a result of the effort that’s been put in.
So really, when was the last time? Not your anniversary, Valentine’s day, birthday or Christmas, but just because.
Moment of truth
Are you happy with how that life is panning out these days? Are you surprised?
Where can you start to put in more effort to nurture your marriage or request in your marriage?
If you continue to be the resentful wife in your marriage, that’s all you’re going to continue feeling. It’s time to step outside of that identity that you’ve latched onto and start focusing on what you want and doing what you can to get it.
I challenge you to bring in the element of surprise back into your marriage more often. What can you do today? Can you try to do something unexpected for him every day this week?
You might be thinking, you don’t have time of any of that because of your kids, but… what’s a little moment compared to a lifetime of potential unhappiness and regret?
If you need some inspiration here’s a list you can refer to:
Hug him for 20 seconds
Pick up his favorite takeout for dinner
Wink at him
Cuddle with him at bedtime
Greet him warmly when he comes home
Do one of his chores for him
Ask him out on a date
Ask him about his childhood
Show interest in what he’s working on
Join him in the shower ;)
That’s a start. Hopefully the list inspires you to think of other ways to keep your love fern alive.
When your marriage is strong, your family is strong. You two are the captains of the ship, your kids are just along for the ride. So make sure you two are on the same page with as much as possible and committed to sailing towards smoother waters instead of staying in the rough seas.
If you are ready to prioritize your marriage, make sure your actions back up your intentions!
P.S. If you liked the question about asking him about his childhood, check out this post for 30 questions you can ask your husband to get him to open up more!